A Mile in Their Moccasins

Under the Maples Series

It was a busy day at Cornerstone.  One waitress worked Victoria’s Garden, the largest room, and my daughter, Beth, was working the President’s Room and the Inner Court. This story begins in the President’s Room. The room was full and at one round table there was a very cantankerous old gentlemen that was being extremely difficult to please.  When Beth came to the waitress area and I saw her face, I asked her what on earth was wrong.  She rolled her eyes and responded that she had a difficult table in the President’s Room. “There is no pleasing him,” she said.  I have tried to be nice but I am at my whits end.  The rest of the people at the table seem happy enough but,” then she shook her head and sighed a sigh of desperation before adding, “I’m running out of patience.”  I looked at her and smiled, “You say you’ve been nice to him, which I am sure you have, but now go in there and be even nicer and kill him with your kindness.” Since we were busy there wasn’t much time to debate the issue but I saw her face and watched her square her shoulders as she readied herself for the next attack that she was determined to meet with even more kindness.

I lost track of the incident soon after as more pressing issues, such as desserts, required attention. I say that humorously but when you have a restaurant filled with people ready for homemade desserts, you better act. It was spring and I had baked a Raspberry Torte Cake, Peach and Blackberry Crunch, Rhubarb Pie and for those who felt dessert meant chocolate, there was a double chocolate parfait.  Happily this was a dessert day and they started disappearing rapidly and, since it was a day we’d only be open until three o’clock, the kitchen was cleaning up and the workday would soon end giving us a few minutes to recap. The cooks were happy and the waitresses pleased with their day and it was reported that the cranky gentlemen remained cranky but there were no further problems.

Now this may not be exactly how it happened, but remember it was years ago and what I am telling is as close to truth as I can remember and, frankly, it is the moral of the story that is important and that is intact.

It was four or five days later when the old gentlemen and his four companions who seemed to be his family again joined him for lunch, this time in the Inner Court.  As luck would have it Beth again had his table and yes, he was still difficult but she had made a decision to be kind and go the extra mile and that is what she did.  This scenario was repeated again and then again. Beth made a point of waiting on the group each time and the fourth time she noticed quite a difference in his attitude.  He talked to her kindly and even tried a smile. Kindness had reaped a plentiful harvest.  When they were about to leave that day the woman, I thought might be his daughter, approached Beth and talked with her for a bit before following the others out. I had no idea what was being said but soon after Beth appeared in the waitress area with tears in her eyes. The woman had told her thank you for being kind to the old gentleman because he had cancer and was often in pain. He felt people didn’t care but he had decided Beth did care about others and he appreciated her kindness.  It changed everything. As time went on, he became gracious and expressed his pleasure at dining at Cornerstone.

Ed, as we will now refer to him, came in many times with the others.  It turns out they were not his family but were understanding friends who reached out to him and took time to show him compassion and love. He appreciated their kindness as he did Beth’s and a friendship of mutual respect blossomed. It was nearly a year before the visits became less frequent and then stopped. Both Beth and I felt the distress.  We knew the reason was that he had become much worse and maybe even died, which is what had happened.  It was months before the caregiver’s came in.  They said it was so hard to come without Ed.  We understood and we all cried together.  They again thanked Beth for her kindness because it had been a blessing to them as well as Ed. It was a priceless gift to both Beth and I.  You cannot put a dollar amount on knowing you did the right thing. I do believe it blesses you more than the receiver.

I’m relating this story because I think it is an important lesson for all of us.  It is so easy to judge people as cranky, mean or disagreeable and others as rude and genuinely unkind. I always try to remember that often I know nothing about them.  I don’t know if they just lost a spouse, a child, other family member, best friend, or if they have been diagnosed with a deadly illness, or are in a messy divorce, or maybe work for an impossible boss and can’t find any peace.  Life’s circumstances can cause people such distress that they really don’t care how they appear to others nor how they make them feel. To my way of thinking there is only one thing that can turn that misery around and it is genuine kindness, a heart full of love and many smiles.  Do they deserve it, probably not.  Do they need it, yes, yes, yes. One of my favorite quotes is the old American Indian saying, “Never judge a man until you have walked a mile in his moccasins.”  Whatever tribesman said it originally displayed great wisdom and compassion for others.  I first heard it as a closing comment on the Johnny Cash Show years ago.  It stuck with me and I try to live by that principle and believe the world would be a better place if we all practiced it.

I enjoyed sharing this story with you because it means so much to me personally.  God bless you for reading it and may you always remember to be kind.


Inspirational Quote
Proverbs 15:1 A soft answer turneth away wrath; but grievous words stir up anger.

Quotes for This Blog
You cannot do a kindness too soon, for you never know how soon it will be too late. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

“A kind gesture can reach a wound that only compassion can heal.”
― Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free